i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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