is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
