He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
