So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's shark week go big or go home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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