i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
