CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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