he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
