Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
