i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
