I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
