I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
