I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
