Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
