I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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