sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
