He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
