I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
