Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Randomize
