Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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