How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
