i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
