New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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