whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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