Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
PANTIES FOUND
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
