Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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