I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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