I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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