dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
