Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
