I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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