i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
