I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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