I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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