Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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