i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
