i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
