Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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