how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
