she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
did you just send me my own nude
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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