Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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