Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
