VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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