I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
