hell yes lets make some ravioli
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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