from now on my penis is your penis
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Mom said you looked used
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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