i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
