Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
