Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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