We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
