the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
