I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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