well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
