I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
